My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

“Pull my neck back, I’ll pull yours.” -relatives posing for a photo

Sequels are rarely good and this one isn’t good at all. Written by comic, Nia Vardalos, it shows a definite need for a writing partner or team. It’s a redo of the gags from the first movie with no real “new” message for the audience. I was shocked to see this film was produced by Tom Hanks. I suppose he thought it would make him money based on the first film in the franchise. I wonder if he visited the set and offerred his advice to the director.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (2016)
Cast
Nia Vardalos

as Toula

John Corbett

as Ian

Michael Constantine

as Gus

Directed by
Kirk Jones
Written by
Nia Vardalos
Other Info

Comedy, Romance
Rated PG-13
94 min

The best part of a good date movie is one that makes your wife or girlfriend laugh. There is nothing more satisfying on a movie date than hearing her laugh out loud. There were just a few ties in this film I heard my wife laugh: so there you go. In the first movie, the Greek father showed how Windex was a cure for everything but even Windex can’t save this long movie.

It’s about another wedding but this time it’s her parents. They find out the wedding was never fully sealed since the priest was not fully ordained, or something like that. There are a lot of significant particulars in this movie that I just didn’t care about. The script goes all over the place and when it seems it’s too far afield, they just crack a joke from the first move assuming that will save the scene. It doesn’t.

I never walk out on a movie but when the old mother and father were planning their wedding it really was like fingernails scratching down a chalkboard: irritating. There were a few gags here and there that worked but overall it was a mediocre comedy moving at a snails pace. The angle of having the parents remarry could have been expanded thus making the movie better. Unfortunately the directors were content to show that Greek women do best married with children. It’s also shown that Greek men rely on their wives for too much and nothing really changes even now in modern times. There were a few laughs and it was a light-hearted movie. That only took me as far as to give it 2 stars though. I wouldn’t recommend this film unless you are just in love with the actors. It lacks the charm of the first film in the franchise.

Spring

Small budget films achieve suspense and horror through little or no financial means. That’s one reason I love watching them. “Spring” makes the grade as a love story with a spoonful of creepy … Make that two.

Spring is a 2014 American romantic science fiction horror film directed by Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead.[ The film stars Lou Taylor Pucci and Nadia Hilker. Wikipedia

I’m in the zone of avoiding spoilers at all costs today. For that reason, this is a short review. Nothing in the film is interesting except the parts that would be spoiled. The girl is well cast, the guy is meh. Oh yes, and those spoilers we won’t mention. It takes place in beautiful Italy, mostly in the streets where slithering things can hide. It’s a romance/horror. Don’t let me spoil anything more for you. I recommend this film.

The House on Pine Street

This film starts out with the cliche haunted house theme. Soon however, the plot picks up. Emily Goss shines in this one. Plus there is some original, scary material here for horror fans.

The House on Pine Street (2015)
Cast

Emily Goss as Jennifer
Taylor Bottles as Luke
Cathy Barnett as Meredith

Directed by

Aaron Keeling, Austin Keeling

Written by

Natalie Jones, Aaron Keeling, Austin Keeling

Other Info

Drama, Horror
Rated PG-13
1h 51min

I’m of the opinion that the haunted house theme, while cliche, is a really cool one for a horror movie. The tricks these days is to make it original in some way. “The House on Pine Street” (Pine Street) does that very well. Jennifer (Emily Goss) is pregnant and she and her fiance are moving into the house the the beginning of the film. As she looks around in disapproval, the spooky sounds foreshadow scary events are coming.

We get the idea they are a new couple moving in to a new life together in the house but as the dialog unravels and strange things start happening, we realize something different about the couple. Jennifer expresses her dislike of the town and the house and Luke (Taylor Bottles) seems very happy there as he tries to get settled in his new job. Incidentally, he is very nice to his mother in law Meredith (Cathy Barnett.) I suppose ou could call him son in law of the year.

Meredith is a very strong and odd character in the film. She is Jennifer’s mother and this is her home town. There are lots of scares here and there but nothing is really explained and expanded until the last 1/4 of the movie. As a horror movie, it makes the grade. The only thing that put me off a bit was how it took so long for things to start happening. I think they told the backstory too long. I really enjoyed the ending, not what I was expecting at all. I think horror fans will like this film for it’s creepiness. There isn’t much blood or gore but we see what energies in people (and houses) can do, it’s pretty scary.

No Country for Old Men (2007)

No Country for Old Men (2007)
R | 2h 2min | Crime, Drama, Thriller | 21 November 2007 (USA)
Violence and mayhem ensue after a hunter stumbles upon a drug deal gone wrong and more than two million dollars in cash near the Rio Grande.
Directors: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen
Writers: Joel Coen (screenplay), Ethan Coen (screenplay) | 1 more credit »
Stars: Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin

This western could have been many times greater if it didn’t have so much silliness from the Cohen Brothers. I loved Raising Arizona and I recognized way back then that these filmmakers had a gift for dark comedy and slapstick, deadpan humor. Unfortunately, since Fargo I have found their style less interesting. Sometimes the guy getting shot with a silencer ‘aint funny but it means something deep to the plot. I think of There Will Be Blood, not a Cohen film but it feels like a western such as this one. There is very little irony, just a story about a psychopath getting even with the universe. I think this film could have done better with less silly stuff. Having said that, I am a die hard Cohen Brothers fan and I feel like a dick criticizing their work. Nonetheless, I have to in this case.

It’s a cast of thousands here. Connect the stars. Tommy Lee’s character is wasted on funny local dialect. It’s cool at first but way way overdone. This same Shtick is done much more successfully in Fargo.

Javier Bardem allegedly spoke no English when he took this role. He did a lot of amazing memorization, if that’s true. He’s scary. He dies everything you expect him to do. Not very impressive but he is liked by most viewers so this is just a little hang up of mine I suppose.

Short spoiler: The ending scene is completely ridiculous when he pays the kid for a shirt. Huh? I thought this was Lucifer. What are they trying to say? He’s the truly honest one? I didn’t like that scene. Spoiler end.

As with so many crime thrillers, you have a guy trying to make it to paradise with a satchel of money and he ends up on a dark adventure.

This is a well made film and certainly entertaining but I found myself wanting more realism in just about every character and plot aspect. As a result, this isn’t my favorite.

6/10

Tusk (2014)

Tusk (2014)
R | 1h 42min | Comedy, Drama, Horror | 19 September 2014 (USA)

A brash and arrogant podcaster gets more than he bargained for when he travels to Canada to interview a mysterious recluse… who has a rather disturbing fondness for walruses.
Director: Kevin Smith
Writer: Kevin Smith
Stars: Justin Long, Michael Parks, Haley Joel Osment

I’ve talked about this film for well over a year but have as yet to review it on my blog. Here goes:

Kevin Smith has carved out an etched name for himself in the film world. Most film students will tell you about Clerks, his cult fame status film about some deadbeats who keep a store staffed, albeit half-aware. We all worked those types of jobs and/or some still do so it’s highly relate-able. Besides that, there is a undefinable quality to it people can only attribute to Kevin Smith as director. Red State is another film that people are ready to line up and give blood for. His influence on film is undeniable in my mind. He tried horror with Tusk and he went way out at that. It’s unlike any horror you’ll see in that it molds disgusting, repellent body horror images with sarcasm and flippant comedy. But there is a third element that doesn’t get discussed a whole lot and that is the literary theme of the sea and its dark foreboding nature toward humans. It’s a bit like Jaws in that way, without a shark.

Justin Long plays Wallace, a despicable podcaster who gathers followers by exploiting outrageous stories. The stories seem to involve the misfortune, maiming, and even death of his subjects. He cheats on his beautiful and kind-hearted girlfriend (Genesis Rodriguez) and overall he is an asshole, and that’s what he’s meant to be.

Michael Parks plays Howard Howe, a retired Navy seaman who lives in a mysterious house and provides Wallace with what was to be one of his biggest exclusives yet. But alas, things are not always what they appear to be. Howe is obsessed with surgically creating walruses from living people and that’s the “guts” of Tusk.

This movie scared the hell out of me when I saw it in 2016. It stuck with me and I have seen it twice since. People either love or hate this film. I happen to fall into the former category. I love the horror and I love the comedy. Make no mistake, they exist at different parts of the film and much of it is no laughing matter. The idea of being abducted and having your body destroyed that way is chilling. At the same time, we have Kevin Smith comedy throughout reminding us of what this is about.

At time of writing this, my podcast Talking Stars is planning to record an episode on Tusk and body horror. I hope you can tune in. Watch the site for more details. After 72 episodes, I’ve never been this eager to do an episode. If you’d like to be on it, let me know.

10/10

Scouting for Podcast Guests – The Snowman Preview (Crime Thrillers)

Hi readers. We’re looking for some people to be on our show this week. Interested? Please let me know.

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